'Know why dogs are such lousy dancers?
They've got two left feet.
The nurse rushed into the doctor's private office and said:
"Doctor, the invisible man is in your waiting room!"
The doctor replied: "Tell him I can't see him now!"
The first turkeys weren't wild. They just went crazy when they found out what we planned to do with them!
We had a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner.
He sat on my right.
I was so shocked when I was born, I didn't say a word for a year and a half!
Life may not begin at forty, but that's when it begins to show.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Aardvark.
Aardvark, who?
Aardvark a million miles, for one of your smiles...!
You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think!
I saw two dogs walk over to a parking meter. One said to the other: "How do
you like that? Pay toilets!"
What do you get when you mix poison ivy with a four-leaf clover?
A rash of good luck!
